Being a “Perfectionist” is Not an Achievement.

“Perfectionism” is a side effect of trauma.

A perfectionist sets unrealistically high expectations of themselves & refuses to accept anything short of perfection because they are seeking approval.

This can stem from experiences in childhood where they felt unworthy or were overly celebrated when they did achieve.

Perfectionism is an actual thing that can cause a person massive stress, as well as a constant feeling of unworthiness.

achievement 

They have trouble accepting compliments or acknowledging their progress.

They will often also procrastinate starting a project or goal because they know the pressure that comes with it in their mind, and are genuinely afraid of failing.

One thing a perfectionist does NOT do is intentionally sabotage or quit a project once they begin.

While perfectionism is a legit mental struggle for a lot of people, there are many people who use “perfectionism” as an excuse for self sabotaging their fitness goals.

You may actually be a perfectionist in many areas of your life, just not with your fitness/fat loss goals.

Let me give you a scenario.

You are given a work project that is due in 3 weeks.

Because you are a “perfectionist”, you have a lot of anxiety over starting the project, so you procrastinate a week.

Now you have 2 weeks left.

You begin working on the Part 1 of 3 of the project, and it takes you 5 days because you are obsessing over every detail.

Part 2 takes you another 5 days.

Now for part 3, the KEY part of your project, you ONLY have 4 days.

So you work overtime, overanalyze every piece, and really stress yourself out.

But you get it done!

You present the project and everyone raves about the job you did!

However, you have trouble accepting these compliments and you also are internally nitpicking every flaw you see in the final product.

The result was that you figured out how to get it done, you did a great job, but you had trouble celebrating the win.

Now let’s put that same “perfectionist” in a scenario that has to do with their fitness/fat loss.

That same person wants to lose 15 lbs in 12 weeks (very doable.)

On week 1 they have calorie & protein ranges, a 3 day workout plan, and the goal to go for a 20 min walk everyday.

By the end of week 1, they realize it is a bit harder than they thought, so they get super mad!

They spend all weekend going off the rails and eventually quit trying.

Does that sound like a true perfectionist?

A perfectionist doesn’t quit.

A perfectionist finds a way to make it happen.

A perfectionist will jump through hoops to achieve the goal.

So why does a perfectionist do that for work or home projects or kids’ projects but not for their fitness?

Because, perfectionism is rooted in a lack of self worth!

If you don’t believe you are worthy, you will not bend over backwards to take care of YOU.

The problem that you have with weight loss is NOT perfectionism.

The problem is that you have low or no self worth.

For years you have only derived self worth from pleasing others.

From getting external feedback.

From suffering to make others happy.

It is trauma.

This is why is my coaching, I always come with a caring hand to challenge the perfectionist mindset.

You are not a perfectionist.

You are a human who doesn’t know their worth.

So the thought of trying hard to slowly build habits that will make you feel better and improve your health feels uncomfortable.

Yet, working 10 hours a day and sacrificing your health for others feels normal.

That is the root problem we need to fix.

We do this by having conversations, establishing your true core values, and beginning to build habits that support the ideal version of you.

That is the process that you actually need.

Not another set of macros.

Want more FREE coaching tips to help you lose 20-30lbs in 4-6 months? Check out my podcast TALKIN FIT with Adam Badger

Learn More About 1:1 Coaching